General

Bf getting out of shape makes me conflicted

Avatar
Biffa   United States
Joined 2 years
Today my bf played soccer with some of his friends. He used to do so every few weeks or so, but due to circumstances he hasn't joined them for 6 months. During this time, he had also been unemployed, and got very little physical activity. He's gained maybe 25 pounds which I've been loving, obviously. He's growing out of his soccer jersey lol.
When he got back, I was eager to hear how it went. He told me that he felt he was "concerningly out of shape" and got tired really quickly. He says he wants to get more activity in, "nothing extreme," just getting more walking in, which I support. Logically, I want him to be able to do the things he loves and want him to be and feel healthy - but the fetish side of my brain went crazy. I feel guilty being turned on by him struggling but I can't help it.
At least, I don't think his decision to get in more activity will impact his weight too much, especially if he isn't intending to do intense cardio or anything. After the game he went out and got fries and a sundae, and he seems to have no intention to stop enjoying the treats that helped him put on the weight in the first place. So I'll try not to be too sad smiley
2 years

Bf getting out of shape makes me conflicted

Avatar
Primal23   United States
Joined 5 years
The saying goes "you can't out run your fork". Weight loss is like 80-90% what you eat and that last bit is exercise. Exercise overall is great and healthy, for the most part. So him getting more of it is a good thing. As you mentioned, unless he is doing intense long workouts there is most likely nothing to worry about. On the contrary, many people gain weight when they start working out. They over estimate how many calories they burn exercising. They then feel that can have an extra treat that blows away the calories they just burned and then some. Which your BF seems to have done.
Of course, supporting him in whatever path he chooses is the way to go. Does he know that you like that he gained weight? Honest communication is the best solution. Overall, I wouldn't worry to much. Weight loss takes time and a lot of work. Without some serious dietary changes I don't think the scale is gonna be going down for him. Quite the opposite actually lol. Take care!
2 years

Bf getting out of shape makes me conflicted

Avatar
Biffa   United States
Joined 2 years
Primal23:
The saying goes "you can't out run your fork". Weight loss is like 80-90% what you eat and that last bit is exercise. Exercise overall is great and healthy, for the most part. So him getting more of it is a good thing. As you mentioned, unless he is doing intense long workouts there is most likely nothing to worry about. On the contrary, many people gain weight when they start working out. They over estimate how many calories they burn exercising. They then feel that can have an extra treat that blows away the calories they just burned and then some. Which your BF seems to have done.
Of course, supporting him in whatever path he chooses is the way to go. Does he know that you like that he gained weight? Honest communication is the best solution. Overall, I wouldn't worry to much. Weight loss takes time and a lot of work. Without some serious dietary changes I don't think the scale is gonna be going down for him. Quite the opposite actually lol. Take care!

Thanks for your response smiley Yes, I support whatever he wants to do with his body and ultimately want him to be healthy, which I've told him. He does know about my preferences and has been ok with letting me encourage him to gain, within reason. Although he does get insecure from time to time, he doesn't seem interested in losing weight at this point.
2 years

Bf getting out of shape makes me conflicted

Avatar
Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
Primal23:
The saying goes "you can't out run your fork". Weight loss is like 80-90% what you eat and that last bit is exercise. Exercise overall is great and healthy, for the most part. So him getting more of it is a good thing. As you mentioned, unless he is doing intense long workouts there is most likely nothing to worry about. On the contrary, many people gain weight when they start working out. They over estimate how many calories they burn exercising. They then feel that can have an extra treat that blows away the calories they just burned and then some. Which your BF seems to have done.
Of course, supporting him in whatever path he chooses is the way to go. Does he know that you like that he gained weight? Honest communication is the best solution. Overall, I wouldn't worry to much. Weight loss takes time and a lot of work. Without some serious dietary changes I don't think the scale is gonna be going down for him. Quite the opposite actually lol. Take care!

Biffa:
Thanks for your response smiley Yes, I support whatever he wants to do with his body and ultimately want him to be healthy, which I've told him. He does know about my preferences and has been ok with letting me encourage him to gain, within reason. Although he does get insecure from time to time, he doesn't seem interested in losing weight at this point.


Even the most enthusiastic feedee will have days they feel insecure. All you can do is to help is make him feel loved and sexy.

As someone who's partner and feedee is actively losing weight, my advise is to look for reasons to find him sexually attractive as his body changes. That way, as he loses weight, you won't feel one way or another about it.
2 years

Bf getting out of shape makes me conflicted

Avatar
Biffa   United States
Joined 2 years
Primal23:
The saying goes "you can't out run your fork". Weight loss is like 80-90% what you eat and that last bit is exercise. Exercise overall is great and healthy, for the most part. So him getting more of it is a good thing. As you mentioned, unless he is doing intense long workouts there is most likely nothing to worry about. On the contrary, many people gain weight when they start working out. They over estimate how many calories they burn exercising. They then feel that can have an extra treat that blows away the calories they just burned and then some. Which your BF seems to have done.
Of course, supporting him in whatever path he chooses is the way to go. Does he know that you like that he gained weight? Honest communication is the best solution. Overall, I wouldn't worry to much. Weight loss takes time and a lot of work. Without some serious dietary changes I don't think the scale is gonna be going down for him. Quite the opposite actually lol. Take care!

Biffa:
Thanks for your response smiley Yes, I support whatever he wants to do with his body and ultimately want him to be healthy, which I've told him. He does know about my preferences and has been ok with letting me encourage him to gain, within reason. Although he does get insecure from time to time, he doesn't seem interested in losing weight at this point.

Munchies:
Even the most enthusiastic feedee will have days they feel insecure. All you can do is to help is make him feel loved and sexy.

As someone who's partner and feedee is actively losing weight, my advise is to look for reasons to find him sexually attractive as his body changes. That way, as he loses weight, you won't feel one way or another about it.

Fortunately he was very skinny when we met and I was attracted to him then. If/when he decides to lose weight in the future, though I might struggle a bit, I know I still find loads of other things about him attractive.
1 year